


if you love me let me go

by ritokki



Series: regret: the series [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crack, M/M, Unrequited Love, alt title: markhyuck and the perils of the washing machine, here we go again, i hate this, letting go, stain!mark, t-shirt!donghyuck, this goes out to ao3 user juujuu look what you did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:55:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22929079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritokki/pseuds/ritokki
Summary: Donghyuck doesn't want him. But Mark just can't seem to let go.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: regret: the series [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1177193
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	if you love me let me go

**Author's Note:**

> so. hi again welcome to my regrets. 
> 
> honestly i just wanted to finish smn so like .hi?? idk it was Right There what else was i supposed to do
> 
> idea credits go to ao3 user juujuu thank u for enabling this ......idek what this is but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> anyway enjoy !

Clinging on was something Mark was good at. He had a talent for it, in the most literal sense. Because Mark was a stain, and stains never disappear. They might fade, become so light that they're invisible, but they never go away.

In Mark’s case, he had been scrubbed away at - detergent and sponges, vinegar and latex gloves. He had been rung through the dryer six times, but he wouldn't move.

He clung to Donghyuck like ivy to a wall, sinking into the pores of his once-pristine white cotton (and polyester, but don't tell Johnny) and not ever letting go. Without Donghyuck, Mark was nothing more than loose molecules in the wind. He relied on Donghyuck, but Donghyuck didn't want him.

Really, it seemed like no one did. Johnny attacked him with his weird, useless methods found online while Donghyuck made no move to help him.

That wouldn't stop him, though. ‘Giving up’ had never been a strong suit of his.

So, he stayed. Through another five machine washes, three times strung up outside and twice through the dryer.

It took him that long to realise what was wrong.

He had never considered it, really. Donghyuck was well-made with fine-woven materials and a lifetime guarantee, never showing any signs of fraying. He was invincible.

(He wasn't.)

The first sign was the shrinking. Mark hadn't noticed it before, just assumed Donghyuck was growing stiff from the constant washes, but the truth hit him without mercy. Just that alone almost forced him to move. But, he couldn't. If he left, he would lose him, forever. 

Mark was selfish. He wanted what he wanted, and if he couldn't have it, no one could.

Right? 

Wrong. 

He wasn't sure what the final straw was: the fraying at the hem or the sudden thinness of the material, as if it was ready to tear at any moment.

At that moment, he recalled something from long ago, when he and Donghyuck first met.

Johnny sat on his sofa in a dark room. The only light was from the TV screen, reflecting back the shining city skyline behind the main couple onto the glass Johnny held in his hand. He was shaking as tears welled up in his eyes; red liquid threatened to breach the boundaries of the glass and onto Johnny’s brand new, snow-white t-shirt. 

“I love you,” the woman on the screen said. Johnny shook more. “But this isn't good for you. I have to let you go.”

The woman turned around to leave - Johnny wailed, and finally, Mark sprung free.

That was the beginning of the end, Mark thought bitterly.

Because of him, Donghyuck was suffering. He thought to himself, either he and Donghyuck could be together forever in eternal suffering, or he could let go. It wasn't a difficult choice to make. Love tended to sway you like that. 

So, he left. It was a slow process, getting lighter shade by shade until a faint pink was all that was left. 

He hadn't expected Donghyuck to do anything, not after what he had caused, but Donghyuck had always been overly-generous. 

It wasn't much, just a simple, warm embrace in soft fabric. No words were spoken, but Mark understood just fine.

_ Thank you, _ he had said.

_ Don't,  _ Mark had replied.

_ Don't worry-  _ Donghyuck grinned-  _ I definitely will. _

And with that, Mark left. 

He was gone, but never would he be forgotten, not whilst Johnny’s wine cupboard was still fully stocked.

**Author's Note:**

> can i just? stop doing this??? i think not
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/ritokki)   
>  [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/ritokki)
> 
> also if the anon who said i was enforcing gender roles onto gay couples in the other fics in this series is reading this please pop up again i want to hear more about how bacteria and phagocytes are Gender Roles The Sequel


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